Mum’s kitchen cupboard is like Narnia, but with more out-of-date spices

When you were a child, the kitchen cupboard was an endless source of possibility. Sometimes great things would come out of it, like Angel Delight, and other times gross things would appear, like evaporated milk.


If you’re a mum now though, you’ll know exactly what goes on behind those doors. Yes, these are the things that ALL MUMS (even you, Gwyneth Paltrow) keep stashed away …


1. The baking ingredients that time forgot

The baking ingredients that time forgot

Via: The Great British Bake Off / Love Productions / BBC

Remember when you bought those ‘fun’ Halloween sprinkles five years ago but forgot to make the cakes? Crusty abandoned baking items lurk in every mum’s kitchen. Tubes of clogged up coloured icing that's gone off, inactive baking powder, vintage flour covered in an unknown residue. Paul Hollywood is very, very disappointed in you. 


2. An enormous jar of coffee 

An enormous jar of coffee

Via: Dunken K Bliths / Giphy

Motherhood is hard. You have to get up in the morning at 6am, clean porridge off faces, wipe bums and train your child not to hit people over the head with Thomas the Tank Engine. So you and your friends need rocket fuel – fast. Luckily, you’ve got more caffeine to hand than Starbucks …


3. Dried herbs that went off in 2003

Dried herbs that went off in 2003

Via: 17 Again / Offspring Entertainment / Giphy

Unless you’re a smug food blogger or cookery expert, you probably won’t find the time to refresh your spice rack. Therefore, you end up owning dried basil that is older than your children. Unfortunately, you won’t get anything for ancient oregano on eBay, but for some reason you hang on to it like it’s a precious family heirloom.


4. A bag of chickpea flour you have no idea what to do with 

A bag of chickpea flour you have no idea what to do with

Via: Girl Code / MTV /

We’ve all been there: frantically Googling ‘clean eating’ and looking at pictures of avocados while eating a packet of Chocolate Digestives. And maybe one day, someone on the internet convinced you to buy gluten-free chickpea flour. And maybe you tried to make something, but it tasted like feet. Still, you can’t throw it away – that would be wasteful, right? 


5. A bottle of Calpol with a sticky lid and a digital thermometer that's been where the sun don’t shine

A bottle of Calpol with a sticky lid and a digital thermometer that's been where the sun don’t shine

Via: The Oprah Winfrey Show / Harpo ​Productions /

Usually next to the tea bags. Nice.


6. A never ending biscuit tin 

A never ending biscuit tin

Via: Miranda / BBC /

A life without a biscuit tin is a life without joy. Like the desert needs the rain and the stars need the sky, mums need an endless supply of HobNobs. It’s non-negotiable. Savvy mothers will have two biscuit tins – one for the kids full of Jammy Dodgers, and one for them full of double-chocolate chip caramel bites from Waitrose. 


7. All the pasta and pesto in the world

All the pasta and pesto in the world

Via: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia / 20th Century /

"Do we have pasta and pesto?" you ask yourself as you walk blankly around the supermarket. So you buy some more, to add to the 3 tons of pasta you’ve already got. That’s because when kids are around, pasta and pesto are as essential to life as water, wet wipes and CBeebies.


8. Cereals of every hue

Cereals of every hue

Via: Ryan Gosling /

Remember Seinfield? Jerry had every type of cereal known to man, and now you do too! Variety Pack is your middle name, and you cater for all tastes, from Cheerios to Weetabix. One day, you’ll upgrade to a nice organic muesli or sugar-free granola, but until then you’ve got 20 packets of Honey Nut Choc-O-Rocks to finish.


9. Gin


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Via: How I Met Your Mother / 20th Centry Fox /

Well, how do you think we get through the day?